Neetah

08:26 pm - sphie = neetzi

Sophie cannot finish her dinner
She says she's eaten enough
Sophie's trying to make herself thinner
Says she's eating too much
And her brother says, You're joking,
And her mother's heart is broken
Sophie has a hard time coping
And, besides, Sophie's hoping

CHORUS
She can be like all the other girls
Be just like all the other girls
Living in an ordinary world
Just to fit in, in the ordinary world
Just to fit in like an ordinary girl.

II
Sophie's losing weight by the minute
How did things get this bad?
Sophie's family, they don't understand it
Gave her all that they had
And her sister won't stop crying
'Cause her father says she's dying
Sophie says she's really trying
Problem is, Sophie's lying.

CHORUS
She can be like all the other girls
Be just like all the other girls
Living in an ordinary world
Just to fit in, to the ordinary world
Just to fit in like an ordinary girl

How did she get this way?
How did she get this way?
Through trying to hide it.
What does it take to say,
What does it take to say
She's dying, Sophie's dying to …

CHORUS
....be like all the other girls
Be just like all the other girls
Living in an ordinary world
Just to fit in, to the ordinary world
Just to fit in and be like all the other girls
Be just like all the other girls
Living in an ordinary world
Just to fit in, to the ordinary world
Just to fit in like an ordinary girl.

Current Mood: sad

08:38 pm

short one,

New Stats :))

HW: 180lbs
GW: 98lbs
CW: 148lbs
LW: same as current weight :))

so in the short term, im happy

in long term, binging is taking over me:)

I need support :((

08:22 pm - Feeling weak :(

binge and a half :(

Sometimes i get such ahigh from the somtrol i have over myself. I decide when to eat
I decide what to eat and I decide where to eat. That is until the control takes
over me and I'm left in the middle of the day in an empty house sitting on the
bathroom floor kneeling over the toilet, puking and coughing and forcing up the
4000+ calories i'd just binged on. Am i letting the control take over me?

How do i smile when everyone around me cries? How do I starve when everyone around
me hurts at my emaciation? Sometimes i get a glimpse and think I need help.
BUT NO!! I cannot get help! I need no help, I can do this. always looking at my thinspo, i know
that one day i will be like them, I'll be thin and happy and accepted :)

Maybe one day soon, they'll understand why it is that i do this, why it is that
I need to be thin and why it is that i need to be kept away form them and their food.
Until then, I need al you guys, to support me and encourage me and to keep
me going strong.

Much love to you girls, you are all keeping me strong
I just hope I can keep going on.

with Love Anita

*emotional i know*

xx

Current Mood: disappointed

06:34 pm - Starving For Perfection

I want to take their eyes out just for looking at me, and I want to shut their
mouths up just for telling me off. Yes I DO! I want to rip their hearts outjust
for making me eat and I want to break their minds down and make them understand.
I want to make them regret life since the day they forced bread down my throat.
And i want them to take back everyword they made me speak.

I realise that somethings are worth dying for, they say this isnt it, but
I know that being thin is worth dying for. This is only what makes me smile!
Cherry stem in my mouth I can tie in a knot. It's easy to deceive when Ana's all
that I got. I guess you could say that I am starving fo rperfection. Killing the
inside to live on the outside.

:)))

03:29 pm - blah :(

HI Again :)

So today is sooo fucking shit, I have been working on a fucking routine for
soo long and it was going well but today my friend came round and we wnet for a
walk and then had lunch :( it was bad cause like, I couldnt have said no without
her getting suspicious and stuff. And then in 3 weeks i must go back in the
school and this is soo bad cause i will be around soo many people all
the time andthe school food is like sooo fattening. Maybe i'll bring sometthing.

I can't eat food anymore, so i'm living on a liquid foods all the time.
Like smoothies are keeping me alive.

Anyways, please comment because i reply to them all and I thank you ))

With Love

and Good Luck

xxx

Current Mood: crappy

07:15 pm - blah

blah y journal =]]] i think =[[[
somethings are soo fucking shit like how everytime i'm around my friends or boyfriend..i dont want to be near them =[. I hate so many things..if you dont understand the next part then dont bother, but if you do then yeah ...criticise all you want..i dont mind...


CW: 154lbs
HW: 180lbs (this day of last month)
GW: 90-100lbs
LW: 154lbs

yeh so anyways... anoh..im fat,....i need to be told it too

Current Mood: aggravated